It’s been a while since I wrote an I have issues blog post. It’s not that the issues are gone, it’s just that I have not been dwelling on them lately. Just now, and a few days ago, I cut a circle of parchment paper to line a 9-inch circular cake pan. Today, as well as a few days ago, as I cut in jagged snips around the circle I remembered my Mom’s reaction to my use of scissors. I think she asked if anyone had ever taught me to use scissors. While I don’t exactly recall the words she spoke, I can recall how they made me feel.
This was a school assignment and I was to cut something out that was probably printed on paper using the purple lines created by a mimeograph machine. It might have been a bear. This might also have been an assignment I’d not gotten to in class because I was slow in doing my assignments and the teachers often sent unfinished work home with me.
My cutting was jagged and uneven. The finished product looked nothing like what it was supposed to look. Mom scolded me, possibly yelled at me in frustration, then recreated the cutout on fresh paper and cut it out herself. It made me think that I was a failure because I couldn’t cut things out properly.
To this day I avoid cutting things with scissors. Sure, I will use scissors to cut wrapping paper, but who cares about precision in the cut ends of wrapping paper? I bought a paper cutter when I was a volunteer in my daughter’s class and had to cut straight lined things for the students.
Cutting a 9-inch diameter circle to line a cake pan requires precision and when I have to do that I remember my feelings about using scissors as a child. I’m no good and bad at cutting.
Regardless, the cake always turns out fine. I may not be able to cut things out properly, but I can make a damned good cake.
I hate to be a bother. I hate to annoy people. I get worked up about possibly saying the wrong thing to someone at a party and worry about it the next day, and beyond. I don’t know how normal this is. I don’t normally talk about it, but I know it is the root of a few of my character flaws, like why I usually wait for people to call me, rarely initiate things with friends and why I dislike asking for help of any kind. I don’t want to bother them if they are in the middle of something. I don’t want to annoy them with my request. I don’t run my air conditioner if I don’t absolutely have to because a neighbor complained that it was loud — I wouldn’t want to bother her in her quietly air conditioned house. I just want to live my life and not be a bother to anyone.
Until the past couple of years this issue only manifested itself in real life, but lately I’ve been more conscious of feeling this way about my online interactions. For instance, when I first became active in Facebook I had all sorts of things streaming on my “wall”. I had my twitter feed and my friendfeed sent to my Facebook wall. I also allowed whatever app I was using on Facebook to be sent to my wall. These notices were then sent to my Facebook friends’ newsfeeds and I annoyed at least one person enough that he deleted me from his friends. When I asked him about it he suggested I join twitter if I wanted to update my status as often as I seemed to be updating it. I explained that it was twitter that was doing it.
Anyway, after that I tried to limit what was posted to my wall. I made a few mistakes, but seemed to be doing fine. Lately, however, a number of people are posting status reports that they are annoyed by other people’s wall posts. Of course (another of my issues is thinking that I’m to blame for everything) I assumed they were talking about my wall posts. Was my app/external site usage being seen by my followers and I didn’t know it? I searched the settings and double checked that what I was doing on Facebook was not annoying anyone. Not bothering them.
And then there is this blog. The theme or the plugins or the widgets is causing problems with commenting and viewing. I’ve spent entire days troubleshooting and have not found an answer.
This is one issue that is not going to be fixed by writing a post about it. I expect that I’ll have this issue until the day I die. I imagine it is part of a larger issue.
So if I annoy you in real life or on Facebook or on Twitter or on my blog, please accept my apologies. I really don’t do it on purpose.
This is a silly one.
Do you clean your lint filter after each dryer load? I don’t, even though my dad was an appliance repairman and warned me against dire consequences if I didn’t. And even though good friends of ours had a fire in their dryer because of dryer lint, I don’t clean it every load. I clean it every so often — about every 3rd to 6th load unless I wash towels or blankets which give off more lint.
Anyway, a friend of mine told me that when he and his wife moved into their new house the dryer lint filter was packed solid — that the people who owned the house before them had never heard that they should clean the filter after each load. That irked me and now when I don’t clean my filter after each load I feel as if I’m doing something wrong.
There. Said and done.
Begone lint filter issue! (it worked with potato peels and towels)