We visited St. Mary’s College in southern Maryland yesterday with my high school junior. She liked it. We liked it. She’s got a chance of being accepted there.

At the end of the week we’ll visit two more colleges – one in New Jersey and one of three in Pennsylvania. Clare needs to choose which of the three we visit in Pennsylvania. She just called up to me to ask, “What am I looking for?” I replied, “The college you want to visit.” She then asked, “What if I choose the wrong one?”

Now, that is a good question. What if I choose the wrong one? How many times have I worried about that? As a kid with limited spending money — What if I choose the wrong item at the five and dime? As a young woman thinking about getting married — What If I choose the wrong man to marry? As a career woman — What if I choose the wrong job offer? At any restaurant — What if I choose the wrong entré? As a homeowner — What if I choose the wrong shade of paint for the living room?

It goes on and on. You cannot possibly visit every campus just as you cannot paint your living room every shade in the paint store.

The thing about getting older is the fact that you know that you can usually change your mind. Even a bad college choice can be fixed. And if you visit the wrong college during spring break, you can visit one that is more right later.

Decisions are hard. Most of the time. Sometimes you never know if you made the right decision. It’s all a part of life.

Clare will make good decisions — based on her criteria. And if she makes a mistake she’ll eventually learn that mistakes are rarely irrevocable.

That said, I need to tell myself that. I need to be more decisive. I often sit back and let Dean make the decisions because I worry, “What if I choose the wrong one?”