Category Archives: Musings

A Christmastide Mystery

Humor, Musings, ,

Once upon a time a family from a town not so far away left that town to celebrate Christmas with their far-away relatives. Just before they left, they threw a festive gala where lovely people brought many delicacies to the family. The family had no trouble eating the leftover delicacies, except for one bag of chocolate.

Upon their return to their cozy home, the family wondered what became of the bag of chocolate, for they had a taste for it’s rich, cocoa goodness. They searched high and low for the bag of chocolate the night they returned, but it was nowhere to be found.

The next morning, when the mother was up bright and early, she noticed a golden bag on the back porch. What can that be? she wondered. On further investigation, she realized it was the bag that the chocolate had been stored in — and the bottom was chewed up.  But where were the chocolates?

Then the ever-vigilant mother noticed some clear plastic wrappers leading in a line away from the bag of chocolate towards the door. More of the wrappers littered the floor of the porch, near the door.

Now, how could that have happened? the mother asked herself as she looked more closely at the screened door.

A HA! She cried. The screen has been damaged!

A hungry woodland creature must have chewed through the screen, leaped up and stolen the bag off the table (where it had been left). Then this creature must have gnawed off the bottom of the bag, and tried to carry the chocolates out the hole in the screen door. Something must have gone wrong, and the poor creature ate the chocolates instead of taking them back to its nest as a Christmas treat for its family.

But what woodland creature could it have been? I suspect a squirrel. Once one gnawed through the screen door to get to our nephew’s pie. (Smart squirrel — that pie was really good.)

Marching bands and solicitors

Musings, People, ,

no solicitorsI’m ashamed to say that we do not normally give to people that show up at our door. Sorry Greenpeace. Gosh, Save the Bay — not this year…

We usually give to our local rescue squad and will buy Girl Scout Cookies, but we won’t buy candy bars from random teenage boys who knock on our door.

drumBut, Internet, hear this now, it seems I will give money to people who ring out doorbell accompanied by marching bands because I did it tonight.

Here’s what happened. As I was cooking dinner I heard some banging noises that got louder and louder. After ruling out kids banging on things in the house I looked outside and saw a marching band walking up the street. At the same moment that I saw the marching band the doorbell rang. I answered the door and two young women who identified themselves as college students (and wore matching sweatshirts with initials on them) stood there with a marching band behind them. I thought they might be Christmas carolers. The introduced themselves, explained what they were ringing our doorbell for (poor children in Africa) and said they needed $21 to call it a night. All the while a marching band stood behind them.

Well, of course I gave them money (well — Andrew did — through Clare. And they said she looked like a model.). Not $21 though. Am I a fool in thinking I should give them what they wanted? Let other neighbors give them the rest. They were bound to make the money they needed for those poor children in Africa with the marching band behind them.

At dinner we looked at the pamphlet they gave us.  It had nothing to do with medical supplies for the poor children in Africa. It was called The Law of Liberty — Enduring Principles of Freedom. The front page sported a bald eagle and the ten commandments. The inner pages held nothing but religious mumbo jumbo words. A brief Internet search links this pamphlet with the Seventh-day Adventist Church.

This is sad because I kind of like the Seventh-day Adventists. I didn’t know they had marching bands though.

Note: After thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that these people just picked up a bunch of these pamphlets and are distributing them as a receipt for giving them money. I hate to be so cynical, but it just was so weird. Have you heard of this?