My Prom, Her Prom

My daughter is going to prom tonight. She’s wearing a lovely dress, classy shoes and an antique Spanish lace shawl. But she’s not happy. She left the house (to go to a friend’s house to dress) ranting how much she hated prom. So, while she acquiesced to try on her dress for me, I won’t get to see her all dressed up for prom.

She’s going to prom with a group of girls she’s known for years and with whom she feels comfortable. She claims that the only reason she’s going to prom is because it is what you do as a senior. Go to prom.

I’d not thought about my prom for a while. I went to prom in my Junior year, but not my Senior year. I went with a guy — Dan. He was a friend. Possibly the best friend I had that year. He liked me. I liked him. As a friend. I’d met Jeremy by this time and didn’t feel comfortable really dating anyone else. I remember not liking prom, but at the time I thought differently. Interesting how time changes memory.

I don’t know if it was considered OK for a group of girls (or guys for that matter) to go to prom alone 1n 1974. I suspect not. At least it never occurred to me to go to prom without a date. I’m glad times have changed though.

So the differences between these two proms, 35 years apart (almost to the day)

Clare bought her dress <———> My mom made mine

Clare’s going with a group of friends <———> I went with one (male) friend

Neither of us looked forward to it.

Tune in later to see of she actually enjoyed it. (Although I suspect that if she doesn’t, she’s not going to lie and say she did)

And yes, I wish I’d been asked to help her find a prom dress. And yes, I wish she were getting dressed here so I could see her before she went and take her picture and act all Momish. But, as I keep on telling myself lately, this is her life. Not mine. (although isn’t there something in the manual on life that allows parents to see their kids in prom clothes? and take photos? And act all proud?)

4 thoughts on “My Prom, Her Prom

  1. One of my daughters refused to attend *any* dance-like event after her first middle school “fun night”. When prom rolled around, it seemed like I spent half my time explaining to my friends that she wasn’t going including that yes, I *knew* that she didn’t have to go with a boy. Boy, group of friends, solo, it didn’t matter. She would not be going. One friend’s son attended *3* proms!

    I don’t have pictures of her in a prom dress but I have plenty of her acting and doing other things she loves. 🙂

    (And yes, I did go to my prom, with a “serious” boyfriend, 30 years ago or thereabouts.)

    kayak woman’s last blog post..“Every time they change the garbage pickup day, it takes me about three years to recover!”


  2. Bridgett — Let’s hear it for non-conformity!

    IB — I hear photos were supposed to have been taken. I’ll post one of the shawl if it exists. Clare bought it at a neighborhood estate sale — along with several pairs of gloves — the kind women wore to church years ago.

    KW — Clare pretty much hated all dance-like events too. She went to homecoming, but didn’t like it. I would have been fine with Clare not going to prom — in fact it may have been a better choice given her mood lately. I just hope she didn’t bitch so much that other people’s time was ruined.

    I’ve not had much chance to talk to her — she’s still in a foul mood, but she said she had a bad time at prom and didn’t even like “Post Prom”. To be fair, she does have a cold.


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