Tag Archives: dan bern

62. Sometimes I wish they were bigger

I was going to save this song until the PGA Tour Event this summer that will bring Tiger Woods to the area, but couldn’t pass up this opportunity – it was perfect.

I don’t often use instant messaging anymore, but yesterday I signed on and saw that my friend, Joan, was also signed in. I hadn’t talked to her since her jewelry party a couple of months ago, and knew she’d just had elective surgery.

At the party she announced that she was having a procedure that would give her what she fondly referred to as “twins”. No, she wasn’t giving birth, but getting a larger bust line.

So I IMed her:

Cedar: hey, how are you? Did the surgery go well? Happy with your new look?
Joan: yes it went well. i enjoyed the rest 🙂
Joan: i do like the new look…sometimes they look big, sometimes i wish they were even bigger!

Of course this reminded me of Dan Bern’s song called Tiger Woods whose last stanza goes like this:

But even though my balls are big
Sometimes i wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on tractors
Big as the golden arches
Big as the Golden Gate Bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing in Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods

YouTube came through again. Watch and hear Dan sing Tiger Woods.

55. The worst car bombing

Twelve years ago today I entered the staff break room at school to stunned faces and news on the television that a bomb had been set off outside a Federal Building in Oklahoma City. When I saw babies being taken out of the smoking ruins on television, all I could think about was getting home to my children. That day was one of the longest I could remember.

My husband worked in a Federal Building in Bethesda but my children were in a church preschool, not one associated with my husband’s workplace. Nevertheless, I needed to hold them.

After the bombing, Dan Bern wrote the following song.