I don’t normally talk about products here on Clutch Cargo Lips. There are few that are so wonderful that I want to tell the world and there not many I want to tell the world to avoid. Also companies don’t send me free stuff like they do for some people. So rest assured, the product I’m going to discuss today was bought with my own hard earned cash.

So — I have dry skin in the winter. Only the winter, but in the winter it gets so dry and itchy that, if I don’t watch myself, I scratch my skin raw. It’s mostly my legs from the knees down that get really dry, but on very dry days my whole body itches.

I’ve tried a number of lotions and some help — Eucerin is one. I like that it doesn’t have a scent (ones with scents often make me sneeze) but it has an odor that I don’t like — or maybe it can go rancid?)  Anyway, I was shopping at Costco at the end of last year and saw a bottle of a lotion I’d not seen before. I was intrigued when I stepped closer and read #1 Lotion recommended by dermatologists and podiatrists. Wow, I thought, it has to be good if so many doctors recommend it. Because I had a coupon for it, I put it in the cart. (Although I would have probably bought it anyway)

The next morning I applied the lotion to my legs after my shower, hoping it would help the dryness and stop the itching. First response: OUCH! F**K! THAT HURTS! OUCH!

On closer inspection, this product was more than a lotion. It was also an exfoliator. Whatever was in it stung like acid* and I nearly rinsed it off. The stinging stopped after a short while and the lotion seemed to work about as well as Eucerin. I used it a few more times — some were more painful than others — then kind of “forgot” to use it anymore.

When my daughter came home from college for winter break she used it after her shower. She later told me she hated it because it stung so bad and the makers should warn people about the stinging. Then we looked at the label and found this (bolding mine):

Caution: For external use only. Keep this product out of the reach of children. Avoid contact with eyes, lips and mucous membranes. A mild irritation or rash may occur on sensitive skin with initial use. May cause transient stinging when applied to skin with fissures or abrasions. Irritation may occur when used on the face. If irritation or rash continues, discontinue use and consult a physician. Avoid unnecessary sun exposure and use a sunscreen.

It makes me wonder what doctors recommended it. I’m thinking maybe:

• Dr Horrible
• Dr Orin Scrivello, DDS (from Little Shop of Horrors)
• Dr Frankenstein
• Dr. Christian Szell (from Marathon Man)
• Or any of these

So, if you do decide to try this product out (and it probably works just fine) realize that it is a pain to use — literally. We have a hardly used bottle if you’re interested…

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*It contains lactic acid which, according to Wikipedia, has a ph of 3.86 which is a little less acidic than orange juice.