All posts by Dona

Phyllis Diller gets an Oscar

I was blessed with a whole bunch of cousins whose families would get together on holidays or for other special events. Often we cousins would put on a “show” for the parents. I wish we had videos of even one of those shows, because they would be precious to us now, but all we have are vague memories of them.

I didn’t even know a photo existed of any of the shows until I was going through and scanning a bunch of photos I borrowed stole from my mom.

Here is my cousin*, Beth, and me (as Phyllis Diller according to the back of the photo — thank you Grandma, for writing on the back of photos!) in one of our shows. I do remember this one, but don’t remember any of the skits. I wonder if Beth does. Perhaps she’ll comment below.

Dona and Beth in a skit where Phyllis Diller gets an Oscar
Beth and Dona putting on a show. The back says” “Phyllis Diller gets an Oscar”. Chetek, July 1968.

I wish I’d scanned this last week. I would have posted it on Facebook along with my RIP message to Phyllis Diller.

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*she’s really my mom’s cousin so that makes her a second cousin or something

Waiting

Are you a good waiter? Not the kind that serves food at a restaurant. I mean do you wait well? I’m a good waiter. My husband is not. I am not bothered by long traffic lights. I’ll sit and think about things while I wait for the stop light to turn green and I can head into the intersection. My  husband goes out of his way to avoid long traffic lights.

I first realized I was a good waiter when I was a child and noticed that other kids my age were fidgety in church. I prided myself on my ability to sit still. Then in grade school, when the teacher left the room (probably to have a smoke), I was not one of the kids who got out of my seat and misbehaved. I sat and waited for the teacher to come back. In fact, one time, when a classmate brought a small amount of mercury for show and tell, I ended up being the only  child in the room allowed to touch it because everyone else jumped up out of their seats to touch it when the teacher said they would be able to touch it. They were all sent back to their seats and I, alone, touched the magical liquid silver metal. A reward for waiting.

These days I do not get rewards for waiting patiently. I’m often overlooked in lines at stores because I’m not impatient. When “who was next?” is asked, I say I was, but sometimes someone, more impatient than I am, claims that position. And so I wait, but I simmer inside. (Once I tapped a woman on the shoulder when she cut in front of me in a line and asked her if I was invisible. She did not understand and stayed in front of me in line).

This weekend I waited a lot. I waited to help my daughter with her computer and cell phone (albeit after she waited for me — she’s a good waiter too). I waited for my husband to be ready to go out and purchase a new refrigerator. I waited patiently for the salesclerk at Sears to go through his required spiel about extended warranties and the advantages of Sears credit cards. My husband became impatient and angry. Back at home I waited for my son to get ready to leave the house so we could buy a few things he needed for his trip to Italy.

I think that at first — as a child —  I waited well because I was too shy to not wait patiently. The alternative was interaction with others — something I avoided at all costs. As I grew older I realized that in many cases there was nothing one could do about the wait. Becoming impatient was fruitless and only caused anxiety and bad feelings if others were involved.

That said, there is one kind of waiting I do not do well — waiting for someone to make a decision if I have already made one.

So — are you a good waiter or an impatient one? Do you see positives for being impatient? Negatives for being patient? Have I wasted some of my life being patient? If you know me, am I wrong about this and am, in fact, a bad waiter?

I’ll patiently wait for your feedback…

Old Writing: Part 3::Untitled 1

This is the piece I thought was lost forever. Luckily for you, dear Internet, it was actually stapled behind some other writing from my youth. This was written on January 26, 1969. Please note, I still believe in fairies. This should probably be called “Fairyland”. Or something. As with the other old writings, spelling and grammar have been fixed. Also I fixed bits and pieces that made little or no sense in the draft.

I vividly remember writing it at the Formica table in my mother’s kitchen. On the table (or flitting around), watching me write, were Tinkerbell (the original Tinkerbell’s descendant) and Daisy, my brother’s fairy. Yes. I was a strange kid.

Untitled 1

There is a place where fairies and other super-beings live. A place where everything is beautiful and no mortals could go there only people who believe in fairyland with all their might could even dream about it.

Well Love, Hope Faith and Happiness were the rulers there (this was before they were turned into feelings by Fear, Hate and Sadness). I know you have felt love, hope, faith and happiness sometime in your life. They are wonderful feelings. Well, this wonderful place was called Fairyland. Past, Present and Future lived there. So did Joy. You know Tinkerbell from Peter Pan? She was born there.

Now I will tell you about the time when Fear, Hate and Sadness tried to overcome Fairyland. One day Hope was strolling through one of the many flower gardens in Fairyland and she saw an ugly creature before her. She was frightened but asked if he wanted anything. He said he needed help so Hope went and got him. When Help arrived he discovered that the ugly creature that Hope saw was gone. When they returned home they discovered that the ugly creature was holding her sisters prisoners. He said he was a messenger of Fear, Hate and Sadness and he came to let them through the gates of Fairyland and conquer it!

But Hope had hope and Faith and faith in Hope’s hope and Love loved their country and would not let anybody, either friend or foe, take over Fairyland. Happiness tried to cheer everyone else up and Help helped.

It ended up that Fairyland won by pure love, hope, faith and happiness for they are stronger than anything else in the world. Although they were turned into feelings by the wicked team Fear, Hate and Sadness, they still rule Fairyland and are cherished by everyone around the world.

And Help helps.