1 thought on “Merde

  1. Blog author’s note: I am approving this comment even though it does not apply to the wordless post about the death of Anthony Minghella. The comment should actually be with this “Briefly Noted” post but I’m assuming the commentor didn’t realize he could click on the header of the mini post and comment there.

    Dear Cedar Waxwing,

    I just saw your little note about the supposed superiority of British elementary school education. Whatever they try to teach, the reality of what is learned is much different. So don’t feel bad if you don’t measure up–most Brits don’t, either. Here is an actual email a friend of mine, who is a teacher in a London high school, forwarded to me. It’s written by the chief substitute teacher. I deleted the names. Year 9 will be high school freshmen. My friend gives me similar stories about her own classes every week, so this is not at all unusual.

    Hello Vanessa,

    I have just had your Year 9 class and they were horrible. Kate (last name deleted) and Will (last name deleted) were messing around at the beginning of the lesson, not coming in to the room when I asked them to. Eventurally they settled down but at the end of the lesson they started chucking water around out of drinks bottles and various books and desks got soaked. The floor was also extremely wet and slippery. Unfortunately, my attention was distracted by Joyce (last name deleted) crying about Amy (last name deleted) being nasty to her and then by Louis (last name deleted) and Paul (last name deleted) having a shoving and shouting contest in the corner. Jack (deleted) and Louis (deleted) tried to restain Louis (different one) but this probably wound him up even more. In the other corner Mark (last name deleted) and RebeKha (last name deleted) were very close, and the rest of the class were fairly distracted by their earphones.

    (Female student name deleted) and (female student name deleted) spent most of the lesson going in and out of the classroom, with accompanying “Whoops” and eventually settled down at 1.42pm. The only one who actually did the correct amount of work was (name deleted) but he was involved in the scuffling at the end.

    Form Tutors – please check if your people are in this group as there are too many to fill out Form A’s for all of them. SAVE THE TREES.

    I allowed the class to go without clearing up their books etc as I feared for their safety if a) they slipped on the floor or b) (student name deleted) actually became less bluster and more aggressive.

    (name deleted)
    Lead Cover Teacher


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