Monthly Archives: October 2007

Home, but where is the heart?

Writing this at a motel in Elgin. It’s pretty weird staying at a motel in my hometown – not entirely unpleasant, but not wonderful either. At breakfast I wondered why these people – some families with children – are in Elgin. Perhaps they are out of town relatives invited to someone’s wedding. Perhaps they are on their way from somewhere to somewhere else and this is a stop on the way. Perhaps, like us, they are here for a funeral and didn’t want to put anyone out by asking to stay with them.

Elgin again

Heading off to Elgin tomorrow afternoon. Parents again – but this time it is my husband’s family.

Ruth at our houseMy mother-in-law passed away last night. My husband was there – he got to say his goodbyes – although he feels like it was more important that he was there in September when his mom was more lucid. She’d been “out of it” for a while. I’m glad he got to spend time with her then and that he was there last night. I’m also glad that my children saw her last when she was standing and able to give us all hugs goodbye. I really didn’t expect that hug to be the last one – I thought she’d be around for a while yet.

On this side of 50, I think about death a lot more than I did before. Not in a frightened way, just in a matter of fact kind of way, although I’d rather not think about it at all. It is amazing – and probably good – that young people don’t realize how short life really is – it is a rather depressing thought.

The kids and I spent the day getting ready for our trip. Andrew, who will be a pallbearer, wanted a black (as opposed to navy) suit for the funeral. He also needed shoes – he’d grown a couple of sizes from the last dress shoes we bought (two years ago).

We’re staying in a motel this trip. I felt it would be easier on everyone. My family would have the space and privacy to get ready for the ceremonies. We’d also be able to be together – something that was not easily done during the summer. It will be a little odd, staying in a motel in my hometown, but it is for the best.