Category Archives: People

Backdoor note

Family, Memories, People, ,

My mom and I had a difficult relationship when I was in high school and sometimes (often) we would have arguments over things she said and I misunderstood (sometimes purposely) or didn’t want to hear. One way for her to apologize without actually apologizing in person was to tape a typewritten note on the back door so I would see it before I walked inside. Once, after explaining to me what I might expect at my doctor’s appointment the next day (she thought I’d get a pelvic exam and I was horrified and lashed out) she typed an apology that she should not have told me in such detail — and also that the doctor’s appointment had been postponed. (In reality the appointment was simply a wellness check — no stirrups involved.)

Another time Mom taped a note to the back door was after I’d been through a very sad few days, having been told by my English boyfriend that he would not be able to come to the States that summer. She’d gotten the mail that afternoon and a letter from Jeremy had arrived. He’d written on the back of the envelope “GOLDEN NEWS INCLOSED! Coming in on a wing and a prayer.” Mom knew I would be happy so she typed it up and taped it to the back door.

Card from Cindy from Montana

Death, Friends, Memories, People, Things, Travel

Thanksgiving weekend, 1990. Dean and I, along with Paul and Kelly, traveled to Long Island, NY to spend Thanksgiving with Kelly’s parents, Bunt and Ann, who were renovating a house there.

Also at the house that weekend were Bern, Kelly’s brother, and his ex-girlfriend, Cindy.

Cindy and I hit it off right away and talked the entire weekend. We had quite a few things in common: birding, Wisconsin (her parents lived in the same small town a family friend was from), reading. Together we decorated a birthday cake for Paul (I think it was for Paul) to resemble a golf course littered with Canada geese and geese poop. It was pretty funny. I thought I’d found my new best friend.

She wrote sent me a Christmas card with her address, I know I wrote back, but the letter was returned to me — not at this address. I could have easily asked Paul and Kelly for her address, but never did, I think, because they teased me a bit about being in love with Cindy.

Summer, 1998. Dean, the kids, and I visited Paul and Kelly in Los Alamos, New Mexico. At dinner one night in Santa Fe they told us that Cindy had died in a tragic accident earlier that year. She and her boyfriend were canoeing and were caught in a sudden snowstorm. He jumped out of the canoe to seek help but she died of hypothermia while she waited. I think he also died.

I’m a little confused by her note though. I don’t remember going rafting with her. So it is possible this Cindy is alive and well and still living in Bozeman, although I have no idea who she is.