Category Archives: Death

Rest in Peace, Scoop

Death
Some of the DC area contingent of an online group I belong to.

I learned today that my longtime friend, Scott Butki died in late December.

I “met” him when I joined an online group, but met him in person on October 2, 1999. He’s in the center of the group in back — L to R: Adam (who hosted the event at his Falls Church home), Brad (who passed away in 2018) Scott, Me, George (who died almost ten years ago). Seated in front, is Glen.

Scott and I met up several times over the years, when he was still in the area. We saw Dan Bern perform together once; Scott joined us for Easter dinner about 20 years ago; he house-and-cat-sat for us when we were in Ireland. He was a kind person, a good soul. He was an activist. He loved his cats.

Last February he and I had a long messenger talk — he’d just discovered some things about himself and was glad he could now understand why he was like he was.

Half of the people in this photo are gone, all of them before their time. All of them were good people and should still be around.

Rest in peace, Scott. I hope you are in a better place, or at least free of your pain.

Card from Cindy from Montana

Death, Friends, Memories, People, Things, Travel

Thanksgiving weekend, 1990. Dean and I, along with Paul and Kelly, traveled to Long Island, NY to spend Thanksgiving with Kelly’s parents, Bunt and Ann, who were renovating a house there.

Also at the house that weekend were Bern, Kelly’s brother, and his ex-girlfriend, Cindy.

Cindy and I hit it off right away and talked the entire weekend. We had quite a few things in common: birding, Wisconsin (her parents lived in the same small town a family friend was from), reading. Together we decorated a birthday cake for Paul (I think it was for Paul) to resemble a golf course littered with Canada geese and geese poop. It was pretty funny. I thought I’d found my new best friend.

She wrote sent me a Christmas card with her address, I know I wrote back, but the letter was returned to me — not at this address. I could have easily asked Paul and Kelly for her address, but never did, I think, because they teased me a bit about being in love with Cindy.

Summer, 1998. Dean, the kids, and I visited Paul and Kelly in Los Alamos, New Mexico. At dinner one night in Santa Fe they told us that Cindy had died in a tragic accident earlier that year. She and her boyfriend were canoeing and were caught in a sudden snowstorm. He jumped out of the canoe to seek help but she died of hypothermia while she waited. I think he also died.

I’m a little confused by her note though. I don’t remember going rafting with her. So it is possible this Cindy is alive and well and still living in Bozeman, although I have no idea who she is.

A note from Richard

Death, Dreams, Family, Friends, Memories, Writing, , ,

In Mom’s final years she reconnected with Richard, a friend from school. He was kind to her and genuinely loved her. He spent part of each day with her, sometimes spending the night. This was especially helpful after her dementia diagnosis. He knew about it long before my brother and I did; although I’d seen some signs I chose to ignore them.

While Richard was staunchly Catholic and went to church every Sunday, he didn’t force his religious views on anyone.

Once Mom was moved to my brother’s house Richard visited her at least twice weekly even though she rarely seemed to know who he was. She was always very happy to see him, so she must have known he was someone she loved and who loved her.

The night Mom died I had a dream that she rose out of her bed and seemed to want to escape the house, standing at the window on her tiptoes, arms fluttering behind her like a moth, eventually shattering into millions of sparks. I recounted this dream to Pastor Keith who we asked to speak at her funeral and he included it verbatim in his sermon. After the service Richard asked for a copy of both Pastor Keith’s sermon and what I said at the funeral.

A few days after the funeral I received this note from Richard:

Dear Donna [sic],

Thank you for your letter of your mom’s life and last night.

I really liked your dream of Pat’s looking out of the window at a bright light on tippy toes.

I think that whs the time she passed and touched the face of God.

May she rest in peace,

Richard Peabody, September 2016