Monthly Archives: October 2008

Overheard in the kitchen…

Background: A couple of friends recommended the How to Talk to Your Kids series when my children were young and I read one of the books when my son was about 12. I blogged about it on a different blog. So a couple of days ago I was talking to my son about an opportunity he was not interested in pursuing.

Me: Well, it would be good for college you know.

Andrew: What makes you think that?

Me: I read it in a book.

Andrew: Which one? The How to Talk to Colleges so They Will Listen and How to Listen so Colleges Will Talk book?

The Overachievers — a review…sort of

Had my kids not been students at the school profiled in Alexandra Robbins‘ exposé of success-driven teenagers, The Overachievers, I would probably never have heard about the book, much less read it. However, since they go to that same high school that AP Frank and the rest of the overachieving students in the book attended, I thought it would be an interesting read.

It was more than interesting, it was an eye-opener and a sigh-producer. I threw it across the room more than once. I vowed to quit reading it more than once. It took me nearly a full year to read and I still have the last few pages to go.

My daughter is now a senior at the school. Clare is not an overachiever in the true sense of the word, but she does push herself academically, which can be hell for her and her parents. I won’t elaborate because she occasionally reads this. Hi Clare.

My son, also not an overachiever, is a sophomore. He’s begun to take school more seriously this year. Hi Andrew! (actually he never reads this, so I could tell you lots of stories about him…

Whitman High SchoolSo, I’d be reading The Overachievers and forget it was so close to home (on a couple of levels) until the author mentioned something I’d seen that day, like the façade of the building or the carpool line or a storefront in Bethesda. Then I’d throw the book across the room.

Sure, sometimes I wish my kids were at the top of their class and candidates for valedictorian, but they’re not. Neither was I. Neither was their dad. We’re not [medical] doctors or lawyers. We didn’t go to ivy league schools.

It’s supposed to be made into a movie. I don’t know how that’s going to work unless it is a documentary. But I think it is a drama. Or a comedy. Or better yet, a tragedy.

Robbins is on our side — she wants schools to stop pressuring kids to overachieve. The last chapter provides many ways to help kids be successful and get into colleges without the terrible stressful hell it has become, but unless all parties (colleges, kids, parents and high schools) agree to follow what Robbins says, it’s not going to happen.

AP Frank wrote a letter [pdf] to the editor of the school newspaper last month. It’s a little rambling, but I think he gives the students some good advice — Be yourself and enjoy your life.  Thanks Frank, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all year.

Golden Birthdays

I was thinking yesterday about golden birthdays and wondering if my family was the only one to celebrate them. (an Internet search returned several results including definitions, a marketing site, some blog posts, a photograph, bulletin board messages, a newspaper article, and a band — so I guess other folks celebrate them too)

If you don’t know what a golden birthday is, it’s when you turn the same age as the date of your birth. Mine was August 23, 1979 when I turned 23 years old. I don’t remember how we celebrated as a family — I was still living at home (I know, I know…) and two things I remember about it was wanting to have a pie thrown in my face* (chocolate please) and getting a beautiful flower arrangement from The Man Who Would Eventually Become My Husband. We’d only been on two dates and he was off on a wild west camping adventure with his buddies, but he’d arranged to send me flowers. See, he used to be romantic.

Anyway — we continued the tradition in our family — my son had his a few years ago and we made it a special birthday by talking it up and giving him $111.04 in cash (he was 11 on 1/11/04 at exactly 11:11, but that’s another post).

Clare’s won’t be until she is 26. If she’s expecting $726.15, she’ll be disappointed.

Do you celebrate golden birthdays? If so, how did you celebrate yours?

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*in case you’re wondering — I didn’t get a pie in my face and have since quit wanting one thrown in my face — just so you know.