Category Archives: Dreams

My Mother, My Self — Part 1

My mother and me 1965
My mother and me 1965

Last night I dreamed I was going to be the 103 lb wrestler for my son’s wrestling team in a tournament. For some reason (the snows perhaps) the rules of who could wrestle for the team were relaxed so that the parent of a wrestler could fill in for another wrestler. Even in the dream I must have realized how wrong this was — and not only because it’s been 10 years since I was 103 lbs — because I reasoned with myself that I was just a filler. There was no way I’d win the match.

Anyway as I was getting ready to leave with Dean and Andrew, my mom walked into the room and said she was going to go too — that she’d missed so many wrestling meets this year.

It is not unusual for my mom to pop up in a dream. When I dream of being at home (meaning my current home) the house is often the house in which I grew up and my mom is always there. She’s often in dreams in which I dream of my husband and children.

I think I’ve known this for a long time, but never wanted to admit it, but when my mom is in those dreams she is me. Even if I am in the dream, I think my mother represents me. She’s usually doing the right thing, while the other me is goofing around or as in last night’s dream, trying to get the scale to work while everyone is waiting in the car to go to the tournament. In the dream from last night she made the decision to not make dinner, but to pick it up on the way — and if I need to cut weight could eat the sandwich after weighing in.

I think she is the authority figure in the dreams (I’ll write more about how I perceive authority figures in my life in a later post) but I don’t seem to have a problem with that — in dreams.

Today is my mom’s birthday. I’m glad she was going to be there to watch me wrestle, but luckily for the team and me, I woke up before I even got to the tournament.

[And just so you know — Mom’s alive and well and even on Facebook]

Analyze This

Another house dream. This time I awoke in a strange bedroom — the four of us were sleeping in our bed, like the old days when we semi-practiced “the family bed”. I remember getting up and saying to the kids — “you’re too big for the family bed. You need to move into your own rooms” and walking them down the hall to their new bedrooms.

Andrew’s was right next to our bedroom and I pointed at the closed door and “said that’s your room”. Clare’s was harder to find, but then I remembered it was at the end of the hall. We walked in and noted it was small, but she’d be able to fit her furniture in it.

I walked back to Andrew’s room and saw that the previous owners left all the furniture, including a bed with sheets and blankets and a large console TV. Andrew was pleased with the TV and didn’t mind sleeping on someone else’s bed.

When we walked downstairs a house party was being thrown for us. My mom was in the kitchen cooking and supervising while friends and neighbors either helped out or enjoyed each others’ company. I can’t say I recognized anyone but my mom, but in the dream I seemed to know them.

Suddenly I realized we’d moved and I ran outside to take a photo of the new house to send to my mom (forgetting she was at the party). When I looked at the house I was disappointed. It was not as nice as our old house, and seemed smaller from the outside. It actually looked like a two story beach house — weathered shingles and all. Walking on the small lot, I noticed the grass was stiff and sparse and the soil was mostly sand. It could have been a house at the beach, except there was no real water anywhere — except for a run-off pond in a neighbor’s back yard. We had bought an ugly beach house in the middle of an ugly subdivision.

Walking back into the house I noted that the kitchen was bigger than ours and exclaimed, “Yay! Counter space.”

There were nooks and crannies in the house but not fun ones. One was a room that could have been on a Navy ship that held nothing but a painted metal staircase leading to the fuse box. It also was damp, with water dripping from the ceiling. We found some old science experiments near the fuse box. The floor was moist sand.

At one point I realized we’d bought the house from a woman who used to be married to a friend of Dean’s and I remembered having been in the house when she owned it and lived in it with her two children. I remembered having been in the kids’ rooms. I wondered why she’d left so much furniture in the house, but after knowing she’d owned it, I felt better about living there.

September already?

The nightmares have started early this year. I knew they’d come. They always do. In fact, as an incredulous young (and soon-to-be-a-father) Englishman overheard on New Year’s Eve, I discussed this reoccurring nightmare with a the hostess of the party.

Me: I’m so glad Christmas is over.
Alison (something like): Me too, it is so stressful
Me: I wonder when the nightmares will start — the ones where it is near the end of the year and I start panicking about Christmas
James (young and soon-to-be-a-father Englishman): Slow turn of his head and puzzled look.
Me to James: Yes, really. They usually start near the end of January.
James: Shakes head

Last night I dreamed that I remarked to someone that I couldn’t believe it was September already. Where did the year go, we wondered. Then I thought in the dream, only a few months until Christmas. The panic began to set in. I also recall thinking that maybe this year I should start shopping in September.

I wonder if these dreams might not really be about Christmas, but about life zooming by at an alarming rate. Either way, I’m relieved that it is only January 4th and not September 1st.